Date: 2008-08-31 03:10 am (UTC)
This one... I like the way it's written. The counting of paces before it's required seems to make things tie together well, or something (I'm trying to find a reason I like the counting of steps throughout but it's not really working). And I know this one had to die; the first time I read it I wasn't completely expecting it, so it wasn't annoying then, but if I reread several posts at once it is especially; killing someone off as the last line mostly just works if it's surprising, and if it's happened a few times before, that takes away from the individual impact of each time.
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Talon

July 2025

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