talonkarrde: (Default)
Talon ([personal profile] talonkarrde) wrote2011-03-06 03:00 pm

Open Topic - A Long Walk

Hey guys, this is me trying something, well, completely different.

This is going to be a story about the choices a person gets to make on his journey for redemption. It draws in some on a few of my stories that I've written, but the special aspect of it is that you get to make choices yourself. 

The entry is here.

I apologize for the external link; I couldn't host it here, and I'm still working out some kinks with making sure everything's working.

--


Edit: Bugs fixed! Associations Restored! I am (probably obviously?) not the world's most amazing coder, and I apologize for the delay :P
connie: (Default)

[personal profile] connie 2011-03-06 08:41 pm (UTC)(link)
I haven't read it yet (waiting for you to say the bugs have been worked out), but at first glance this kind of reminds me of [livejournal.com profile] amagicalforest, which is something I (with some help) made for LJ Support a while back. It's kind of surprising what it's possible to do on LJ sometimes! ;)

[identity profile] talon.livejournal.com 2011-03-06 08:42 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh man. That's...clearly what I should've looked up. Maybe after I get the bugs worked out I can try porting it over with that.
connie: (Default)

[personal profile] connie 2011-03-06 08:46 pm (UTC)(link)
Email me if you need help! I remember it being a really big pain to set up, even with someone else writing the structure of the code for me (so that I just had to substitute in the text and links).

[identity profile] talon.livejournal.com 2011-03-06 10:10 pm (UTC)(link)
Fixed! I will take a look at amagicalforest now :P
yachiru: (Default)

[personal profile] yachiru 2011-03-06 09:53 pm (UTC)(link)
I really liked this idea for a weekly topic. Choose your own adventure books owned my 11-13 year old heart. ^^ Nice job.

[identity profile] talon.livejournal.com 2011-03-06 10:28 pm (UTC)(link)
There were some pretty big bugs before. I think it should be all good now.

Thanks! I <3 CYOA and I've always enjoyed narrative in gameplay so it felt right to try and combine the two.

[identity profile] liret.livejournal.com 2011-03-07 03:04 am (UTC)(link)
This is a really cool concept for an entry!

[identity profile] talon.livejournal.com 2011-03-07 02:19 pm (UTC)(link)
Thanks! I hoped it'd work, and <3 your icon ;)

[identity profile] talon.livejournal.com 2011-03-07 02:19 pm (UTC)(link)
So this was the LJ part. You want to hear about the life part? :P

[identity profile] gratefuladdict.livejournal.com 2011-03-07 04:07 pm (UTC)(link)
But of course!

[identity profile] myrna-bird.livejournal.com 2011-03-07 05:11 pm (UTC)(link)
What an original and creative concept for an entry. I played 'the game' a couple different ways just to see all the choices/consequences. Fascinating. This could be adapted for moral development in an educational setting too, not just for recreation.

[identity profile] talon.livejournal.com 2011-03-07 05:29 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh man, this is actually a large part of where I would like to pursue this. Morality and ethics to start out, but I think other topics could also be tackled in a far more engaging way than they are now. I'm glad you enjoyed it :)

[identity profile] myrna-bird.livejournal.com 2011-03-08 01:32 am (UTC)(link)
Loads of potential. Keep at it!

[identity profile] basric.livejournal.com 2011-03-08 12:58 am (UTC)(link)
Unusual, original and interesting.

[identity profile] talon.livejournal.com 2011-03-08 01:04 am (UTC)(link)
But is it /good/? :P I know it's a bit simplistic - it's more a prototype than anything else, though I wanted for it to be fleshed out enough to at least give a good idea of the concept.

Would you click on it next week? Does it take too much effort? Is it too boring? :P

[identity profile] basric.livejournal.com 2011-03-08 01:37 am (UTC)(link)
Good, no. Great YES. I loved it

[identity profile] basric.livejournal.com 2011-03-08 06:04 am (UTC)(link)
I would click on it next week.

[identity profile] furzicle.livejournal.com 2011-03-08 04:42 am (UTC)(link)
Aaah, THIS is more like what I expected from you. Very, very nice. (Yes, I played it several times to experience all the permutations.)

[identity profile] talon.livejournal.com 2011-03-08 12:17 pm (UTC)(link)
-grins- sorry about the a. comment deletion and b. broken things. the animal stuff was default placeholder and I didn't have the javascript pointing to the right stuff and stuff.

I'm glad you liked it. Anything you would like to see next time / thought was bad or heavy handed / took away from it?

[identity profile] ecosopher.livejournal.com 2011-03-08 02:07 pm (UTC)(link)
So. Much. Fun.

What a great idea. I'm just about headed to bed or I would have gone through again and chosen different paths. Loved it. Also: imagery fantastic. Very relevant to some of the events going on right now.

[identity profile] talon.livejournal.com 2011-03-09 11:02 pm (UTC)(link)
:D I'm glad you enjoyed it! And yes, I wanted there to be a bit of a shift from a lonely sci-fi walk to something slightly more topical, and then out again. Apparently current events and foreign policy are closer on my mind than I thought.

[identity profile] secretlysidhe.livejournal.com 2011-03-09 09:02 pm (UTC)(link)
This is awesome! I haven't fully played around with it yet, but I will when I get time this evening. Very creative and lots of fun!

[identity profile] talon.livejournal.com 2011-03-09 11:03 pm (UTC)(link)
:P Thanks, you. It's a rough prototype, but I think the idea holds a lot of promise.

[identity profile] nyxocity.livejournal.com 2011-03-09 10:38 pm (UTC)(link)
Sean! This is awesome! What an original and fun way to tell a story. I tried it a couple of times.

[identity profile] talon.livejournal.com 2011-03-09 11:04 pm (UTC)(link)
Nyx! This is...a lot of writing, I have to say, for things that people will probably only read through once or twice. But it was totally worthwhile.

Interesting, our entries both had to do with games :P

[identity profile] xo-kizzy-xo.livejournal.com 2011-03-10 02:44 am (UTC)(link)
Bugs aside, I really like the concept. It can be used in so many capacities -- education, gaming, Idol, the sky's the limit :) I'd love to see you develop it further!

[identity profile] talon.livejournal.com 2011-03-10 12:06 pm (UTC)(link)
Thanks :) I'm very, very glad you liked it!

[identity profile] comedychick.livejournal.com 2011-03-10 11:33 am (UTC)(link)
That was fun! I liked the ending I got :D

[identity profile] talon.livejournal.com 2011-03-10 12:06 pm (UTC)(link)
-grins- that begs the question, which ending did you get?

[identity profile] comedychick.livejournal.com 2011-03-10 12:07 pm (UTC)(link)
I helped the soldier and let the guy who stole the bread free.

Clearly I am a good person :P

[identity profile] talon.livejournal.com 2011-03-10 01:34 pm (UTC)(link)
Good :P the world needs more of you!

[identity profile] mstrobel.livejournal.com 2011-03-10 03:02 pm (UTC)(link)
I love these sorts of choose your own adventure things!! I am going to have to play again now and see where my second choices bring me :)

[identity profile] talon.livejournal.com 2011-03-10 03:02 pm (UTC)(link)
Oooh, tell me what your choices were? I'm verrrrry curious, especially of you :P

[identity profile] mstrobel.livejournal.com 2011-03-10 03:28 pm (UTC)(link)
I always walked on, because I'm Australian and used to the heat. ;) Although I did remain still in the storm because sand in the eyes is PAINFUL. I am a coward though, and didn't intercede, however I didn't think the guy ought to go to jail :D

[identity profile] talon.livejournal.com 2011-03-10 03:54 pm (UTC)(link)
Innnnnnnnteresting. Thanks :P

[identity profile] kenakeri.livejournal.com 2011-03-10 04:15 pm (UTC)(link)
Nice! I'm going to go through it a few times to get all the endings. I reluctantly ended up sending the guy to jail, because I thought about how the store owner might have felt about the situation :(

[identity profile] talon.livejournal.com 2011-03-10 09:25 pm (UTC)(link)
and thus laws exist for a reason ;) But when can we break them? How far would you go to uphold that? Tune in next week, for another installment of 'what would you do!' :P

[identity profile] tijuanagringo.livejournal.com 2011-03-10 08:44 pm (UTC)(link)
interesting. for my personal tastes it was a bit too like a game, i.e. fast, sudden choices and movements, rather than a long, lingering fiction experience like war and peace or les miserables (yeah I saw the jean valjean loaf of bread reference)

but having complained, now I must say that I am pleased to see the concept moving forward. I am old enough to remember the pocket books where you chose you actions and went to one page or another and those never really pleased me either, I just wanted to read lord of the rings or science fiction

all in all, however, I must thank you for a quite enjoyable experience.

[identity profile] talon.livejournal.com 2011-03-10 09:30 pm (UTC)(link)
And thank you, sir, for that tremendously valuable feedback. I think it can (should) certainly be much longer - I imagine something that would take closer to twenty minutes to play through would be better.

I think the shortness is a fault of mine and not the medium, though at some point the decisions need to be made sure they're meaningful and not just to stretch things on, but there can certainly be much more than just one or two decisions establishing a player's morality (or lack thereof!).

That being said, though, some of the abruptness, some of the choices will always be restricting and sudden - and so the question in the end is whether being able to pick your own path is worth more than being led through the author's one 'true' path.

Again, thank you for playing, and for commenting!

[identity profile] lawchicky.livejournal.com 2011-03-10 09:27 pm (UTC)(link)
A choose-your-own-adventure! How cool!

[identity profile] talon.livejournal.com 2011-03-10 09:31 pm (UTC)(link)
One where you don't die with every wrong choice, too ;)

[identity profile] locknkey.livejournal.com 2011-03-10 11:21 pm (UTC)(link)
I really love the experimental use of media. i can't imagine how long it took to do. I had a lot of fun with it. :)

[identity profile] phoenixejc.livejournal.com 2011-03-10 11:45 pm (UTC)(link)
This is unique and I loved the experience of interactive fiction! Bravo!

[identity profile] joeymichaels.livejournal.com 2011-03-11 12:25 am (UTC)(link)
love it love it love it love it.