Hm. This is interesting, because I both agree with you and disagree with you. I think that it does, indeed, need to be worded better, but when writing it, I had a near perfect picture in my head of a homeless guy approaching a couple after a Broadway show like Wicked and launching into his speil. It would have to be convincing enough, with enough details, to be drawing...but I wanted to leave open the fact that maybe he was insane.
The middle parts are obviously the meat of the story - and, in a vaguely arrogant manner, reference some of the past short stories I've done, adding a bit to them, actually. I was going to expand a bit more and reference some more hops, much like in A Wizard Alone, and pay tribute to some great worlds (Dune, for one) but that nasty word limit came in, so.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2008-08-31 06:22 am (UTC)The middle parts are obviously the meat of the story - and, in a vaguely arrogant manner, reference some of the past short stories I've done, adding a bit to them, actually. I was going to expand a bit more and reference some more hops, much like in A Wizard Alone, and pay tribute to some great worlds (Dune, for one) but that nasty word limit came in, so.