http://bleodswean.livejournal.com/ ([identity profile] bleodswean.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] talonkarrde 2014-06-10 12:49 am (UTC)

Lovely. Really. This is such an analytic look at how two people bridge the gap. There is not enough flesh here but that's the point, isn't it?

You had the teensiest mis-step - the relationships that make up the fabric of her life. This is far too cliched for this piece and your writing. I think the metaphor you're looking for there has to do with stories, tales told and not told, and books. Libraries of books.

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